It’s in the details: how to be a best man

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It’s in the details: how to be a best man

Going through that phase where everyone you know pairs off and gets married, is just a natural part of growing up. It’s also an exciting time, because odds are that you will be asked by a groom to be the best man at his wedding. Although it’s a great honor, it’s perfectly normal to feel equally excited and horrified. The best man’s responsibilities go beyond organizing the bachelor party and the speech at the reception. No clue what your duties as a best man are? We’re here to help.

1. Wedding planning

Girls are not being dramatic when they insist that planning a wedding is stressful. It’s a nerve-racking experience, so don’t be surprised when you find yourself taking on the role of butler, valet and hand-holder to the groom. Offer to help research the best photographers, videographers and wedding bands. Be extra helpful by helping with choosing the tuxes, organizing the groomsmen’s fittings and keeping all the groomsmen up to date of any changes in schedules.

2. The bachelor party

One of the best man’s main duties is organizing the bachelor party. Bachelor parties are a tradition, however don’t assume the groom wants one. If he doesn’t, focus on your other duties instead. If he does, start planning right away. Ask the groomsmen what amount they can afford and consider whether you would like a professional photographer to (partly) document the event. Remember that you want the groom to have a good time and not get in trouble with his future wife. So if he says no strippers that means no strippers.

3. Before the wedding

There are many small jobs that need to be taken care of in the week leading up to the wedding. Offer to decorate the getaway car, confirm honeymoon travel plans, help him pack for the honeymoon, and assist with anything else the groom might require. Don’t forget to free up enough time to prepare your speeches. Depending on the wedding itinerary, you might have to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner as well as at the reception.

4. The ceremony

On the big day, make sure you know exactly what is expected from you. That might range from helping the groom get dressed, to paying the wedding officiant and the band, taking charge of the rings and making sure the groom has any official documents required for the ceremony. As a leader of the groomsmen pack, make sure they are there on time and dressed as agreed.

5. The reception

At the reception you are part host, part event coordinator. So make sure you perform both duties like a pro. Welcome guests, mingle and make introductions if necessary. Know when photographs are to be taken and make sure everyone is in the right spot at the right time. Determine the order of the toast and make sure you have rehearsed your toast beforehand. If the couple is leaving for the honeymoon directly after the reception, volunteer to help with the luggage and take charge of the groom’s tux and have it cleaned for when he’s back from his honeymoon.

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